I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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