do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
