North Korea, Best Korea!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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