She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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