I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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