I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
