You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
