he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Randomize
