in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize