What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
