Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
