I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Enjoy the penises
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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