areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
In America we eat man semen.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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