Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
