dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
