so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
