Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
