it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
