But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
