FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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