we're blogging at a bar
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
