But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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