I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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