We named our party play list daddy issues
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
