ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
