So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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