i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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