WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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