We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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