I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Randomize
