Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize