You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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