that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize