I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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