how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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