she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
