In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
