They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
