That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
