Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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