Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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