Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
