If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
