Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize