think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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