Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
