I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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