i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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