At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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