white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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