girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
