Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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