I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
