i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Randomize
