I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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