Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
