Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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