I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
