I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
