Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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