She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
