If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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