Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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