That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I fill condoms, not promises.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
